


What You Wanted

by lonelh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jealousy, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, barely slow burn tho, brief mentioned renmark, doyoung is basically their mom, dreamies centric, mentioned mpreg, mild Blood and Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2020-07-28 11:09:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20063035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelh/pseuds/lonelh
Summary: None of them were ready for everything to change, like they knew it would.





	1. Chapter 1

Renjun was hot.

It didn’t come upon him quickly—he vaguely remembers the dorms feeling a little warmer than usual that morning, but it was nothing Renjun felt the need to fuss over, nothing at all.

Now he peeled off his sweatshirt, tossing it onto the floor and tried to return his attention to the movie that was playing on the TV. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jaemin watching him curiously from his spot on the other end of the couch, a blanket thrown over his and Jisung's legs. 

Renjun now only donned a t-shirt and shorts but still shifted uncomfortably as he broke out into a thin layer of sweat. He couldn't even remember what the movie they were watching was called, some action movie Chenle had wanted to watch. Renjun fanned himself with his t-shirt, glancing nervously at the open window across the room. It was dark out, the moon barely peeking out behind thick clouds. The air around him was cool, the light night breeze blowing in from the window occasionally fluttering against his skin. But he could still feel warmth bubbling up inside him and heating his skin. 

"You're not cold?"

Renjun turned his head and locked eyes with Jaemin. Renjun blinked and shook his head. Heat curled it’s way through Renjun’s body again, his cheeks undoubtedly reddening. 

“Renjun?” Jaemin asked again, noticing the flush that Renjun now sported. 

“I um,” Renjun sat up all the way, "I think i'm running a fever or something."

Everyone's eyes were on him now. He pushed himself off the couch and knelt down to grab his sweatshirt, trying to ignore the heat that spread through his chest at the movement. 

"Are you alright?" Jaemin asked, sitting up as well.

Renjun nodded, "I'm fine. I think I'm gonna go to bed early and try and sleep it off." He ran a hand through his hair, grimacing slightly at the strands damp with sweat. 

There was a chorus of goodnights and waves from the members, except for Jaemin who only stood, "Are you sure? Do you need anything?"

Renjun shook his head, "Don't worry about me."

Jaemin opened his mouth to say something but Jisung cut him off.

"Hyung, you're letting all the heat out of the blanket." Jisung whined from the couch. Jaemin glanced down at Jisung who was playing on his phone with one hand and tugging at Jaemin's wrist with the other. When he turned back to look at Renjun, the older was already halfway down the hallway. Sighing, he slumped back down. 

Renjun shut his bedroom door behind him, dropping his sweatshirt at his feet and wasting no time to tear his t-shirt off his body, the shirt facing the same fate as his sweatshirt on the floor. His legs carried him to his bed, falling onto the cool sheets and spreading his limbs out. 

The heat was making him feel disoriented, his vision going in and out of focus.

_Maybe I should have taken medicine,_ Renjun thought, squirming against the sheets which were quickly warming up from his feverish skin. He shut his eyes, willing himself to slow down his breathing and reduce his movements, but this was beginning to feel like a fever he couldn’t sleep off. He was starting to regret not, at the least, getting some water. 

_I felt fine before_. Renjun continued his inner monologue, wondering how a fever like this could overtake him so suddenly. It was only partially true. He wasn’t _hot_ before. But he hadn’t been sick, hadn’t been tired. Sure he’d woken up with unusually sore legs and hips the day before, but he couldn’t see how those two were connected.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Renjun lazily turned his head in the direction of the sound.

"Renjun?"

The boy only grunted in response, still managing to gather himself enough to pull a blanket over his exposed torso. 

The door slowly opened and Jaemin peaked his head into the room, "Renjun?" He called again.

Renjun couldn't will himself to answer fully, but he didn't want Jaemin to worry so he simply hummed. 

"Are you feeling sick?" Jaemin asked, more concerned than before as he kneeled at the side of Renjun's bed. Before Renjun could muster up an answer, Jaemin pressed the back of his hand against the older's forehead, his eyes widening slightly, "You're really burning up."

Renjun exhaled, his eyes fluttering shut at Jaemin's cold hand. He really hated making Jaemin worry like this, but the heat that curled in his stomach was making it difficult for him to put up any kind of facade. 

There was a fleeting touch on his arm, Jaemin's hand lightly caressing his heated skin before the younger stood up. "I'll get you water, okay? Then i'll let you sleep."

"Thank you." Renjun breathed out, his voice weak. He barely registered gentle fingers pushing the fringe out of his eyes before he heard the door open and close again. 

His eyes fluttered open what felt like moments later and he suddenly sat up, clutching his stomach as throbs of pain made their way through his abdomen. Renjun swallowed a cry. Accompanying the pain, heat was rolling through his body in increasingly unbearable waves, and everywhere his skin touched the sheets it felt oversensitive, the contact setting his skin ablaze and eliciting small gasps from Renjun.

There was a glass of water on his bedside table, but the room was dark and empty, and Renjun figured he must have fallen asleep for some time. He swung his legs over the side of his bed, though trying to stand proved fruitless as his legs shook and his knees buckled under his weight. He fell to the floor, his knees hitting the hardwood followed by the rest of his body with a loud thump, the contact drawing a yelp from him and knocking the air from his lungs. He squeezed his eyes shut as the throbbing and the heat flared. Was his body _trying_ to kill him?

With wobbly arms Renjun pushed himself up into a sitting position and leaned his back against his bed. He found himself sucking in short breaths, his chest heaving as he panted like a dog.

His eyes fell towards the glass of water on his bedside table, and next to it, sat his phone. Renjun sucked in a shaky breath before pushing himself closer to the table. The muscles in his arm felt weak as he reached for his phone, barely able to hold the weight of just his arm. He grabbed the phone with a sweaty hand, pulling it into his lap. 

He switched it on, the bright screen momentarily burning his eyes. Renjun squeezed his eyes shut before slowly blinking them open until he could see well enough to press the call icon. A list of names popped up and Renjun could barely process them. 

_ Doyoung  _ was the first that Renjun read. 

Doyoung, Renjun knew Doyoung. In the back of his mind he vaguely remembered Doyoung telling him and the other members to call if they ever needed something. Or maybe it was Taeyong. It didn’t matter. He pressed the contact quickly and put the phone up to his ear, which took more effort than it should have. 

Each ring felt like torture and Renjun bit his lip. He was suddenly aware of how late in the night it must have been, dread filling Renjun as he realized Doyoung was most likely sleeping, and could probably not hear his phone.

Renjun felt like crying in relief, however, when Doyoung's raspy voice rang through the speaker.

"Renjun? You better have a good reason to be calling me this—"

"_Hyung_." 

"Renjun?" Doyoung asked, the tiredness suddenly completely gone from his voice, "Is everything okay?"

"No—no, it hurts." Renjun cried, a lump forming in his throat

"What? What hurts, Renjun?" Doyoung sounded alarmed now, and Renjun could hear shuffling in the background.

"It—just everything, hyung. It's so hot." _Heat_. The second the words fell from his lips everything fell into place. _Heat_. “I think there’s something wrong with me, hyung.”

"I'm on my way over, just hang in there for a little longer, okay?" More shuffling and Renjun could hear a voice in the background.

"Yeah, yeah okay." Renjun’s voice was breathy and weak.

Renjun let his phone clatter to the floor, unsure if Doyoung had even hung up. Renjun couldn't find the energy to care about his phone.

Doyoung was on his way.

Heat curled in his stomach. 

For a moment Renjun wondered if he should call for one of the other Dream members, just to help him until Doyoung came, but when he spotted his phone, which had fallen a few feet away from him, Renjun grew tired just thinking of trying to grab it. Admittedly, he also wasn’t sure if he’d want one of the members to see him like _this_.

Renjun was clutching his stomach so tightly the skin was beginning to hurt. 

Doyoung could help.

Renjun bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

The 127 dorms were less than five minutes away but seconds felt like hours.

He leaned his head back, face distorted in pain as the throbbing in his abdomen grew into sharper jabs.

Finally Renjun heard it, the front door of their dorms hurriedly being pushed open. He heard more voices, but this time Renjun could recognize them as Jeno's and Chenle's. Renjun felt himself lean forward impatiently. There were rushed footsteps that grew louder and louder until they were right outside his door and it swung open.

Renjun could barely make out the panicked look on Doyoung's face in the doorway. "God, Renjun." 

Doyoung neared, a lavender scent invading his nostrils and Renjun whined.

"Hey, hey you're alright." Doyoung spoke, his tone gentle. He kneeled down next to Renjun.

Renjun looked up at Doyoung with wide eyes, the scent emanating from Doyoung almost immediately overtaking his senses.

"You can smell it, can't you?" Doyoung said, almost as a distraction as he wrapped an arm around Renjun's back. "Good, that's good. Focus on my scent, okay?"

_This is really happening_, Renjun thought as he sucked in Doyoung's scent. The Beta's scent was grounding and nothing but comforting, but Renjun's breath still grew ragged as panic rose in his chest. _Everything's happening so fast._

Doyoung must have noticed, as he leaned forward slightly, bringing himself closer to Renjun so the boy had easier access to the scent. 

Renjun barely registered Doyoung's other arm coming to hook underneath his legs. He took deep breaths, the lavender wrapping itself around Renjun and clinging onto his skin, chasing the heat away. Even the pain in his abdomen dulled to a smaller ache. 

"You're going into heat. This is completely natural." Doyoung reassured him, lifting the smaller bridal style. The sudden movement flared up another wave of heat that had Renjun gritting his teeth. 

"Deep breaths, Renjun." Doyoung carried him out of the bedroom, "Can you do that for me?"

Renjun nodded, hooking his arms around Doyoung's neck, tightly gripping onto the older. He buried his head into Doyoung's neck where the scent seemed strongest, taking in steadier breaths of the lavender. With every inhale Renjun’s skin cooled a little more.

"I'm going to take you to Kun's, alright? He's going to help you." Doyoung's voice was soft, despite his rushed pace out of the hallway.

Renjun swallowed and nodded.

"Doyoung hyung."

Renjun lifted his head upon hearing Jaemin's voice, not expecting to lock eyes with the younger. He had a frown on his face, features twisted with both shock and concern. They were in the living room, and Renjun could see some of the other members behind Jaemin.

"I'm bringing him to Kun's, I'll explain everything when I get back." Doyoung said, his tone surprisingly calm, before disappearing from the dorm, Renjun in his arms.

Jaemin could only stare at the closed door once Doyoung was gone.

"Did he really—I mean did Renjun just—_you know_." Jisung stammered. Jaemin turned around to see the lost look on Jisung's face.

“Doyoung said he’d explain.” Chenle said back.

Donghyuck scoffed from his spot in the doorway, his arms crossed, "What's there to explain? Renjun went into heat. He's an Omega."

Everyone stared at him, save Jaemin, whose head fell.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost too much.

A plethora of emotions and scents and sensations--all of them foreign and strange to Renjun.

It started with the lavender that radiated off of Doyoung the night Renjun got his heat. He remembers the way it completely enveloped him and the pain subsided, if only a little, and he felt like he could breathe again. Renjun hardly recalls the rest of the way to Kun's dorm, other than it was way too long for his own sanity.

The entire way Renjun had his head stuffed into the crook of Doyoung's neck, trying to breathe in as much of his scent as he could, though the blazing heat that ran through his veins was still enough to make him cry. After each whimper and yelp Renjun would let out, the lavender scent around him would momentarily grow stronger and Renjun figured out half way through the journey that Doyoung was doing it on purpose, doing everything in his power to soothe the writhing boy in his arms.

By the time they reached Kun's, tears streaked Renjun's cheeks and the heat was only getting increasingly unbearable. The door opened and a new scent breached Renjun's senses, chocolate. Kun was a Beta, and like Doyoung's, the scent encompassed him, bringing him some relief. Renjun saw the shocked look on Kun's face, and the sweet chocolate smell bittered for a moment. Only a few words were exchanged, it didn't take a genius to recognize what was going on, and Renjun's shaking body was being passed off into Kun's arms. The door shut behind them and Doyoung's lavender scent completely disappeared.

The WayV dorms were a mixture of new and different scents, one of citrus, one Renjun could only describe as the soft earthy smells after a thunderstorm, and one of wood that seemed to affect him much more dramatically. As soon as he smelt the crisp scent, his pain almost disappeared completely, but the heat within him only strengthened. But this time, the heat was accompanied by something else, a new sensation, lust.

The feeling of pure need was overwhelming as it racked through his body, and Renjun couldn't stop the loud moan that escaped his lips, too far gone to be ashamed or embarrassed. If anything, he wanted more. He was sure the scent belonged to an Alpha. In an instant the scent had his cheeks heating up and his head spinning, slick slowly dripping out of him for the first time. Unconsciously, he began to lightly rut his hips into Kun's chest, his body desperately looking for any satisfaction.

He heard Kun yell something along the lines of _'Get him out of here'_ and Renjun heard a door slam shut as the smell of wood faded. The scene around him changed as he was placed gently on a bed, who Renjun presumed to be Kun's. Kun let go and with the loss of contact Renjun whimpered, quickly grabbing a fistful of the older's shirt. "Stay, please."

Kun took Renjun's wrist in his hand, prying it off him. "I'm going to get you some water, I'll be right back, okay? I'll get Sicheng to come in here. Is that alright?"

Renjun swallowed and nodded his head. As Kun's scent faded, the pain rapidly returned and Renjun choked back a sob. The room around him was dark and still, the only movement from his own squirming body. The door opened again and light filtered into the room, Renjun's heightened senses causing him to quickly shut his eyes. Suddenly the same citrus scent from before engulfed him, and Renjun opened his eyes to find Sicheng closing the bedroom door behind him. Renjun felt like crying out of relief as the pain and heat dulled once again and Sicheng kneeled next to him.

"Hey Injunnie." He spoke softly, and Renjun was sure his deep voice had never been so comforting.

"S-sicheng." His voice came out frail and high pitched, laced with desperation and weariness.

"Shh...you're okay." Sicheng spoke in Mandarin this time, the familiar language providing an additional comfort for Renjun to hold on to. Sicheng pushed the fringe out of Renjun's eyes and took one of the smaller's hand in his. Renjun gripped Sicheng's hand tightly, the subtle contact being enough to calm Renjun down, if only a little.

Kun re-entered the room, the scents of the now two Betas doing wonders for Renjun's heat. Kun sat next to Sicheng at the edge of the bed, handing Renjun the glass of water. With a shaky hand, the younger lifted it to his lips, Sicheng helping support the weight of the glass. Sicheng took the glass from his hands once he was done and set it on the bedside table.

"Can you lay down for me?"

The younger complied, Sicheng's hand still clutched tightly in his own. The pillow below him was nice and soft and smelt strongly of Kun, which Renjun enjoyed. Kun placed a cold cloth on his forehead to help chase away some of the heat. Now that he was much more comfortable, Renjun could focus on something other than the pain and the exhaustion of the heat began to set in. He had forgotten that it was so late in the night.

"Is it--is it always this bad?" Renjun asked, words shaky.

"No, no." Kun rested his hand on the younger's leg, "Not at all. Your first heat will be the worst, but they'll get better."

Renjun nodded, his eyes half-lidded.

"Are you falling asleep, Junnie?" Sicheng's voice rang in Renjun's ear and his eyes snapped back open. When the younger nodded again lazily, both Kun and Sicheng quietly stood up, Sicheng letting go of Renjun's hand, "We'll give you time to rest, okay?"

Renjun's eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, "No, stay." There was a slight pause.

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" Sicheng offered and Renjun nodded.

Kun and Sicheng shared a look before Kun quietly left the room. Renjun whined from the loss, the ache in his abdomen as well as the heat growing stronger. Sicheng was at his side in an instant, grabbing Renjun's hand again and getting into the bed with him. The movement irritated Renjun even more, and he let out a whimper as a wave of heat coursed through him, his cheeks flushing. Sicheng took noticed and let go of Renjun's hand to wrap his arms around the younger, his citrus scent blanketing over him and soothing him to sleep.

"You'll be okay, Renjun."

-

"I think we're all thinking the same thing."

Everyone seemed to snap out of their trance as they looked at Donghyuck. It was a quiet morning at the Dream dorms, no one well rested as they were too worried to sleep any.

Donghyuck looked at all their blank stares and rolled his eyes. "Even when Renjun comes back, it's not gonna be the same anymore."

Jisung's gaze fell to his lap.

"Mark was one thing. It was expected. We were...prepared." Donghyuck locked eyes with Jaemin, "Renjun, on the other hand, is different."

Jaemin glared back at Donghyuck.

"Renjun's an Omega now." Donghyuck continued, "Physically, his changes might not be as drastic as Mark's, but with Omega's it's their entire nature that changes."

Donghyuck maintained eye contact with Jaemin, "Omegas are built for submission." His tone was cold and degrading.

Jaemin's jaw clenched.

"It's their biology. Heats aren't supposed to be suffered alone. 'Cause can you guess what else Omegas are built for?"

Jaemin's nostrils flared, unbridled anger rising inside him. Jeno eyed Donghyuck, trying to stop the other from finishing his sentence.

"Being fucked. Baring their necks to the next Alpha that breathes." Donghyuck leaned in, "Giving pups to any Alpha that comes across them unmated."

"Don't talk about him like that." Jaemin spoke through gritted teeth, his hands clenched into fists under the table.

"The only physical change Renjun will go through is becoming all the more fuckable."

"Shut up!" Jaemin shouted, standing up, "Shut the fuck up, Donghyuck!"

Jeno threw an arm across Jaemin's chest in attempt to get Jaemin to calm down while Donghyuck stood up, his gaze piercing a hole through Jaemin, "It's _all_ of our biology. And it's inevitable. Renjun isn't a kid anymore. None of us are."

Jaemin swore he would have lunged at the older, had his voice not broken slightly at the end of his sentence. Sighing, Jeno let go of Jaemin, "Hyuck, maybe you should leave for a little bit. Get some fresh air or something."

Donghyuck looked hurt at Jeno's words for a moment, but Donghyuck just breathed a laugh, shook his head and pushed past Jeno. Jaemin glanced at Jisung, who hadn't moved the entire time and was still staring at his lap, and Chenle was still in awe.

Jaemin huffed, "We're all screwed, aren't we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me so long to publish!


	3. Chapter 3

After a week in hell, going home should've been easier than it was.

Renjun had suffered through it all while being cooped up in Kun's dorm room, the endless heat that coursed through his body, the constant, yet unbearable aching in his abdomen, and the foreign, yet overwhelming lust surfing through him until his vision blurred and his head spun.

Yet here he stood in front of the dream dorms, unable to open the door. Taking a deep breath, he lifted a shaky hand towards the doorknob, only for it to stop halfway through and fall back to his side. Renjun was just worried that they would view him differently.

Ever since all of them had become friends, they feared the day that they would have to present. They feared their friendship, tied together and interwoven with their youth, would crumble and tear them apart when the time came they were forced to grow up. It was unspoken, but went without saying.

Mark was already becoming more and more distant as time went by, and whether that was just because of his 127 schedules, or his own biology and the result of him maturing from adolescence, they weren't sure. But the thought that they might outcast Renjun now that he had presented terrified him.

Renjun could have, and quite possibly would have, stood in front of that door forever, drowning in his own thoughts and worries if Doyoung hadn't spoke up from behind him.

"Renjun? Are you okay?" Renjun tore his vision from the door to Doyoung, who had a worried look on his face. Renjun forced a small smile before nodding, "Fine."

Choosing to ignore his heart pounding in his chest, Renjun reached for the doorknob before he could change his mind and twisted it open in one motion. All he saw was the darkness of the dorms. It was the middle of the night, yet no one must have bothered to turn on the lights. He was barely able to react when arms wrapped tightly around him, trapping him in a crushing hug. Renjun managed a laugh, his nerves subsiding as he returned Chenle's embrace.

"I missed you so much." Chenle mumbled into his neck.

"I missed you too, Lele." Renjun reached up and ruffled his hair. Something made Renjun pause for a second however, as Chenle stood almost two inches taller than him. _Had he always been this tall? _

He didn't have much time to dwell on it as another pair of arms wrapped around him from the back, and Renjun couldn't stop the smile that came to his face as Jeno tucked Renjun's head under his chin, pulling him into a tight back hug, Jeno's body practically engulfing him and he was much bigger than Renjun remembers.

"Thank god you're back, hyung. Jaemin cooks like he's on meth." Jisung said, appearing in front of them. 

"Nice to see you too, Jisung." Renjun replied playfully, but at the mention of Jaemin's name, his smile faltered. He looked around, barely making out Jaemin's figure in the doorway to the living room in the dark. Jaemin seemed lost in thought as his eyes wandered over Renjun's body. Suddenly all the anxiety seemed to flood back into Renjun. He was always comfortable around Jaemin, them being so close throughout the years. But now, Renjun felt insecure under Jaemin's gaze.

Everyone seemed to sense the tension between Renjun and Jaemin, Jeno's arms falling from Renjun as he looked in between the two. Jaemin lifted his gaze back up to meet Renjun's, and his breath hitched. Renjun saw the look in his eyes and knew what Jaemin was thinking.

Jaemin had always been more observant, always paying the closest attention to details. And Renjun knew what Jaemin was seeing now, what maybe the other members failed to, and why maybe Donghyuck was nowhere to be found. Renjun's marginally wider hips, his brighter skin and overall healthier complexion. His skinny figure slightly thicker. The way his body dripped with sex and exuded fertility. The way he looked like an Omega.

"Jaem..." Renjun muttered, taking a step towards him. At hearing Renjun say his name, something seemed to shift inside Jaemin. He followed Renjun by taking a hesitant step forward, before taking another one, and another, and suddenly the two were colliding into each other.

Jaemin's arms were coiled tightly around Renjun's slim waist, his head buried deep into the crook of Renjun's neck. Renjun had his arms wrapped around Jaemin's neck, one of his hands entangled in Jaemin's hair. Because of the height difference, Renjun was lifted off the ground slightly, but he couldn't find it in himself to mind.

"Renjun." Jaemin sighed, his breath hot as it fanned over Renjun's neck. Renjun smiled, a big uncontainable smile, all traces of doubt and insecurity gone.

-

"I get that Renjun can't come because he just presented or whatever, but why did I have to?" Donghyuck whined as Jaemin dragged him by the sleeve into the mall.

"Maybe Doyoung just didn't want you around." Jaemin snapped, glaring back at the other, "And look at Jeno, he's not even feeling well but do you see him complaining?"

Donghyuck's face softened for a moment as he turned to Jeno, "You're not feeling well?"

"Just a headache. I'm fine." Jeno replied, giving the younger a weak smile.

"Why do we even have to do this anyway?" Donghyuck said, pulling his sleeve from Jaemin's grip. "Because, now that Renjun's back _and_ Mark's visiting for the weekend, we need a lot more food." Jaemin led the two boys into the grocery store located near the entrance of the mall.

"But why do you need three people?"

"Because Doyoung said so. Now please stop asking questions, your gonna give me a headache too." Jaemin said, grabbing a cart.

"Well where's Doyoung?" Donghyuck asked, following Jaemin to the fresh produce section.

"I don't know, off with Jaehyun probably. Didn't I say to stop asking questions?"

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, slowing his pace to walk with Jeno, who had been silent the entire trip. Donghyuck noticed the older was tightly clutching his stomach. "Woah, Jeno are you okay?" Donghyuck asked, growing concerned.

Jeno looked up at him and nodded, but his hand stayed at his stomach. He looked at Jaemin, who had stopped in front of them to check on him as well. "Really guys, i'm fine. Just drop it." Jeno managed.

Jaemin turned back around, Donghyuck eyeing Jeno suspiciously before doing the same.

They continued throughout the store, Jaemin ahead of them throwing things into the cart and checking off the list Doyoung gave them while Donghyuck walked with Jeno a few feet behind him. Donghyuck got impatient again after about an hour.

"How much longer is this going to take?"

"It'd be a lot faster if you helped." Jaemin said, shooting him a glare. "

Mark should've just came." Donghyuck grumbled, leaning against shelves of cereal.

"I agree." Jaemin sighed.

"Isn't it weird that he's visiting? I mean I know with his schedule he won't see us for another month and a half, but isn't it risky with his rut coming up so soon?"

Jaemin froze, "What? His rut's coming?"

"He didn't tell you?" Donghyuck asked, continuing when Jaemin shook his head, "Well, yeah. He told me this morning."

"Mark's at the dorms. With Renjun." Jaemin said, his heart practically skipping a beat.

"Jaemin, I know you're like oddly protective of him, but you're getting too worked up about this. He'll be-" Jeno stopped Donghyuck mid-sentence with a loud groan as he fell to his knees.

"Jeno?" Jaemin's eyes widened and Donghyuck was at his side in a second. Donghyuck grabbed a hold of Jeno's arm, helping lifting him up, "Are you okay?"

Jeno lifted his head up, his fringe damp with sweat and eyes clenched, "M-my stom-_fuck_-" Jeno said, exasperated, "God, everything hurts."

Jaemin's eyebrows furrowed and Donghyuck looked on in horror, "Jeno, what the hell is happening to you?"

"I-I don't know."

Jaemin looked around, suddenly aware of how many people were in the store. He turned back to Jeno, "Can you walk?"

Jeno attempted it, pushing his leg out a little before wincing in pain and stopping. "No. No I can't move. My le-legs hurt so bad."

Donghyuck looked at Jaemin, "What do we do?"

Jaemin swallowed, "Uhm, I'll call Doyoung. Maybe he can pick us up?" Donghyuck nodded and Jaemin frantically dug out his phone, turning away to call him. Donghyuck bit his lip as Jeno leaned himself against him, his head falling onto Donghyuck's shoulder.

"Doyoung said he'll be here in twenty minutes. We need somewhere to keep him until then." Jaemin said as he walked back to the two.

"He can't move," Donghyuck argued, "we'll hurt him!"

"Well we can't keep him here, can we?"

"Bathrooms" Jeno mumbled, not looking up at either of them.

"Well," Jaemin and Donghyuck shared a look, "let's go."

Donghyuck wrapped Jeno's arm around his neck and his own arm around Jeno's waist, supporting Jeno as he walked, moving carefully as to not hurt him. Jaemin went in front of them, scouting the store for the bathrooms. They made their way as quick as possible, ignoring people's stares.

They crashed into the bathroom, Jaemin locking it behind them. Donghyuck carefully sat Jeno down, propping him on the wall. Donghyuck moved to stand up, but Jeno quickly grabbed a fistful of Donghyuck's shirt, "Hel..help me, Hyuck."

Donghyuck's heart grew heavy at the pain in Jeno's voice, "Jeno, I...I don't know how to help you."

"Just stay by me, please." Jeno's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Yeah, yeah okay." Donghyuck sat down next to him, Jeno reaching over for Donghyuck's hand. Jeno groaned again and his grip on Donghyuck's hand tightened.

"Jaemin, how long until Doyoung gets here?" Donghyuck asked, watching Jeno.

"Still probably another 15 minute. Hey what's the date today?" Jaemin asked, a thought coming to him.

"It's the nineteenth, why?"

"Jeno's birthday is on the twenty-third." Jaemin said.

"Yeah? So?"

"Renjun presented three days after his birthday and Mark presented five days before his." Jaemin spoke slowly, as if testing how the words sounded, his gaze anywhere but on Jeno.

"So you think he's..." Donghyuck looked up at Jaemin, studying the serious look on his face.

"Look at him. What else could it be?"

He looked at Jeno, who's face was twisted in pain, with sweat running down his forehead, neck veins bulging and chest heaving. His grip on Donghyuck's hand was so tight his knuckles were turning white. He let out a particularly loud groan, his entire body convulsing momentarily, which was followed by a sob and he fell limply into Donghyuck's lap.

Donghyuck's heart shattered into a million pieces as he pulled the now shaking boy close to his chest. "Call Doyoung again. I don't think we can wait fifteen minutes."

Donghyuck didn't take his eyes of Jeno, threading his free hand through the older's hair as Jaemin called.

"Doyoung? Can you come any sooner? Yeah, it's getting bad." Jaemin glanced at the two sitting on the floor. "No, it's really bad."

On the floor, Jeno had curled into Donghyuck's chest, the latter rubbing circles into his back.

"Okay, thanks hyung." Jaemin hung up, "He said he'll try to be here in ten, but no earlier."

Donghyuck nodded, trying to move his body as little as possible for Jeno's sake. A silence fell over the both of them, the only noise coming from Jeno and the occasional rustling outside.

"Why are you so worried about Renjun?" Donghyuck spoke up, wanting to pass time.

Jaemin shrugged, "Why are you so worried about Jeno?"

"Because Jeno looks like he's dying." Donghyuck said flatly.

Jaemin sighed, "I don't know. It's complicated."

"We have time."

"I just care about him a lot. Somehow he always triggers this instinct in me that's like _protect_ _him_." Jaemin shakes his head, "I don't know when it all started."

"I think we both know it's more than you being protective." Donghyuck said.

"What exactly are you inferring, Lee?" Jaemin said, raising an eyebrow.

"That you're head over heals in love with the kid."

Jaemin scoffed.

"You're worried something is going to happen between Mark and him."

"I know what an Alpha is like on their rut, Hyuck. It's not pretty."

Donghyuck thought for a moment, "If something does happen, you need to know that it's purely their own carnal instincts taking over, nothing else. All logic goes out the window when it comes to ruts and heats, Alphas and Omegas."

Jaemin just stared at the tile flooring of the bathroom.

"And Mark would never take advantage of someone on purpose, you know that. He'll take care of Renjun."

Jaemin nodded. "You're right."

"Besides, do you not think that Renjun would be into you?"

Jaemin bit his lip, "It's just that he's an Omega. Omegas and Alphas are supposed to go together."

"You haven't even presented yet." Donghyuck asked, confused.

Jaemin's face visibly darkened, "Yeah."

"Look, what I said the other day about Renjun, I-" Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door.

Jaemin and Donghyuck both shared a look before wearily looked at the door handle.

"Hello? Jaemin? Donghyuck? You guys in here?" A flood of relief wash over both of them, Jaemin quickly unlocking the door.

Doyoung opened it, Jaehyun right behind him, and his face immediately scrunched up, "God it reeks in here."

"What are you taking about, hyung?"

Doyoung looked in between Jaemin and Donghyuck, and then at Jeno, "Um, nevermind."

Doyoung entered the bathroom, and knelt next to Jeno and Donghyuck, "How long has he been like this?"

"Half an hour maybe?" Donghyuck replied, hesitantly loosening his arms around Jeno for Doyoung.

"Help me get him up." Doyoung said and he and Donghyuck both grabbed one of his arms and lifted him. Doyoung passed him off to Jaehyun, muttering a quick, "Get him to the car." Jaehyun wrapped Jeno's arm around his neck and disappeared with Jeno from the doorway. Doyoung turned to Jaemin and Donghyuck.

"How did you know we were in here?" Jaemin asked.

"When nobody was waiting outside, I asked one of the employees, who said he saw three boys running into the bathrooms. Anyway, are you guys both alright?" Doyoung said, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Yeah. Fine."

-

The car ride was only minutes as the grocery store was a short walk away from the dorms.

Jaehyun drove and Jaemin sat in the passenger seat beside him, Donghyuck and Doyoung sat on either side of Jeno in the back. Jaehyun and Doyoung quickly dropped Jaemin and Donghyuck off at the Dream dorms, before speeding off to the 127 dorms where Jeno would stay until he was recovered.

"What do we tell them?" Jaemin asked as they both stood in front of the dorms.

"We tell them the truth." Donghyuck said, his voice void of emotion as he opened the door.

Jaemin followed Donghyuck in with his eyes, his body frozen. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't afraid of what he'd find in the dorm. He took a deep breath and went inside, only to be met with a completely empty dorm, the only person being Donghyuck, standing over the kitchen table, looking at something.

"Where are they?"

Donghyuck turned around, a small piece of paper in his hands.

"I'm pretty sure Jisung and Chenle went out, but," He avoided Jaemin's eyes as he spoke up, "I think you should read this."

Jaemin watched Donghyuck with furrowed eyebrows as he took the note. He looked down and his heart dropped.

_I have to leave early. I'm sorry for not giving a proper goodbye, but something came up and I couldn't stay here any longer. Jaemin, I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive me. He's alright. -Mark_

Jaemin stared at the note in his hand and his mind went blank. He dropped the note, running to the guest bedroom and pushed open the door.

At first, he was furious. Red, hot anger pooling in his chest. But as he looked over Renjun's sleeping figure, soft light from the setting sun gracing his features, all that was left was an overwhelming sadness that buried itself deep in Jaemin.

He entered the room, his footsteps inaudible. The bed was a mess, blankets pushed off to the side, pillows on the oppsite side of the room and the sheet coming off on one corner of the mattress. He knelt down by Renjun, studying his body. Jaemin expected to see bit and swollen red lips, or hickeys, dark purple and violent, blotched onto his neck. Bite marks even. But his lips were soft pink, and the skin on his neck was untouched.

Jaemin delicately pushed Renjun's fringe out of his eyes, his hair still damp from what Jaemin guessed to be a shower. Renjun's eyes slowly opened, the exhaustion apparent on his face. Renjun watched Jaemin for a minute, not speaking a word, not _having_ to speak a word. Renjun could read it all in Jaemin's expression. Renjun watched him until the tiredness set in again and his eyes fluttered back shut.

Renjun's shirt had rode up a little, and his sweatpants, which obviously didn't belong to him, hung loosely around his lower waist, revealing the bruises on his hips. Jaemin sighed and hooked his arms under Renjun's knees and chest, picking him up bridal style. It was when the older rested his hand on Jaemin's chest that Jaemin noticed, although much lighter than the ones on his hips, the bruising around his wrists. Jaemin was somewhere in between disgusted and heartbroken.

He carried him out of the guest room, down the dark hallway and into Renjun's own bedroom. Carefully, he set the smaller down onto his bed and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. Jaemin glanced over him one last time before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Donghyuck was waiting in the hallway outside Renjun and Chenle's room. He had an empathetic look on his face, one that said _I'm sorry_, without words.

Jaemin fell into Donghyuck's arms, immediately burying his face into the older's shoulder and sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oomfs sorry this took me so long! i'm still trying to figure out my writing schedule.
> 
> anyways, heres chapter 3, aka jaem and hyuck switch personalities for a chapter !
> 
> please leave any feedback in the comments, im always trying to improve my writing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there are heavy mentions of blood as well as violence in this chapter!

"For Gods sake, Jaemin." Donghyuck sighed as he scanned Jaemin's bedroom. Empty water bottles and soda cans littered his side of the room and his unmade bed was covered in dirty laundry. The garbage can in the corner of the room was overflowing onto the floor. Donghyuck didn't ever think the day would come that Jisung's half of the room looked the tidiest.

"Doyoung and Taeyong are coming tonight and the dorms are a mess." Donghyuck said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.

The younger was seated at his desk, resting his head and arms on an open book that he had obviously lost interest in a while ago.

"Jaemin?" His eyes flicked up to Donghyuck, but he didn't move.

"I get it you're touchy and all emotional right now but at least take out the trash or something. Doyoung'll beat my ass if this place still looks like this when he gets here."

Jaemin glared at him as he sat up, closing the book and pushing past Donghyuck and out of his room.

"What the hell, Jaemin?" Donghyuck said, getting angry, "Is this still about Renjun?"

That caused Jaemin to pause at the end of the hallway. "Don't bring him into this."

"Don't bring him into what?" Donghyuck scoffed, "I know you're depressed because Renjun slept with Mark, but you don't have to project your hormonal anguish onto me or the rest of us."

Jaemin turned around now, his jaw clenched. "Like you can talk, ever since Jeno presented you've been breathing down all our necks, like some kind of tyrant. I never knew you were that dependent on him to keep yourself in check. And I'm _not_ depressed."

Donghyuck took a step closer to Jaemin. Normally, he would have left the subject alone, but Jaemin's comment about Jeno had set something off inside him. "You know what? You're right. It's probably just your fragile balance of anger issues, unresolved self hatred, and love for a boy you think can't ever love you back, finally collapsing on top of you." Donghyuck leaned in so his face was only inches from Jaemin's, "I'm not _dumb_, Jaemin. I know how you get jealous when someone so much as touches Renjun, how you get mad. In fact, I can't imagine what was going through your head when you found out Mark fucked Renjun through his rut."

Jaemin's hands balled into fists and Donghyuck showed no signs of backing down, both of them so wrapped up in their growing anger that neither of them noticed the figures standing in the doorway.

"I bet it made your skin crawl. Imagining his hands all over Renjun. And I bet it tore you apart, knowing that Mark, an Alpha, touched Renjun like that and there's nothing you, probably nothing more than a Beta, could do ab-" Suddenly Jaemin's fist collided with Donghyuck's jaw, knocking him backwards.

Donghyuck quickly regained his balance, and lunged at Jaemin, a newfound rage exploding inside of him. They toppled over, Donghyuck landing on top of the younger, and raising his own fist and bringing it down hard, the sickening sound of bone on bone echoing through the small hallway. He brought up his arm again, landing a blow to Jaemin's eyebrow where a cut immediately opened.

Before he could do anymore damage Jaemin kneed upward, throwing off Donghyuck's balance, allowing Jaemin to push him off.

Jaemin thought he heard someone shout from the opposite direction, but the adrenaline coursing through him was drowning out all distractions. All the rage that had been building in Jaemin's chest seemingly erupting as Donghyuck's back hit the ground with a thud. Jaemin climbed over him and immediately took the opportunity to hit him, punching him on the mouth. Donghyuck cried out, his lip split open, and blood gushed out onto his chin and Jaemin's knuckles.

Donghyuck's frantic pushing against Jaemin on top of him grew weaker as the other went in for a second time, punching him in the cheek, and again in the nose. Another shout. There was blood smeared across Donghyuck's cheek, jaw, and mouth. He gripped helplessly onto Jaemin's sleeve, as if it could somehow stop him. Panting, Jaemin raised his now bruised and bloodied fist again, but before he could do anything, someone from behind him grabbed onto his arm, holding it back.

"Stop! Jaemin, _stop_!" Renjun was practically screaming as he gripped tightly onto Jaemin's arm. Jaemin looked up at Renjun to see tears streaking down his cheeks, his eyes wide and filled with horror.

Jaemin's grip faltered, allowing Donghyuck to scramble out from underneath him. Renjun slowly let go of Jaemin's arm, his eyes never leaving Jaemin's. Renjun blinked and wiped the tears off his face with his sleeve before rushing over to help Donghyuck. Jaemin wiped off some of the blood rushing down his face and he looked at the dark red liquid stained into sleeve. Something inside of him clicked, and the seething anger that possessed him seconds ago seemed to wash away as he glanced over Donghyuck's figure. The boy had his backed pressed against the wall, moving as far away from Jaemin as possible, his chest heaving. Renjun held a tissue to his mouth for him to spit out all the blood.

He grabbed Donghyuck's wrist, and led him to the bathroom at the end of the hall. Before Renjun closed the door he looked at Jaemin, his voice stern, "Stay."

Jaemin watched Renjun disappear into the bathroom with Donghyuck. He exhaled, leaning against the wall. He looked down and studied the drying blood over his knuckles. He wasn't sure what came over him, and he didn't know what scared him more--the fact the he had enough anger in him to do something like that, or that he didn't feel sorry about it. He knew it was wrong, sure, and he didn't necessarily feel good about it, but there was a part of him that didn't regret what he did to Donghyuck.

Jaemin did wonder, however, was he taking his anger towards Mark out on Donghyuck?

Some time passed and Donghyuck came out of the bathroom, only sparing Jaemin a dirty look before turning back down the hall. Renjun's head popped out of the doorway, waving Jaemin over. The latter got up, walking into the small bathroom.

There was an open first aid kit, it's content spilled out in various places around the room. There were bloody gauges in the trash can and a dirty cloth lay soaked in the sink. Renjun sat him down on the toilet, immediately bringing a fresh wet cloth up to the cut on his eyebrow. Jaemin winced when it made contact, Renjun mumbling, "Hold still."

He kneeled down in front of Jaemin and carefully wiped all the blood that was trailing down from the cut. He sighed as he threw the cloth in the sink and grabbed an antibiotic. "You two are such asses, you know that?"

Using a cotton pad, Renjun dabbed the antibiotic onto his cut. Jaemin watched Renjun intently as he did it. He thought Renjun looked so ethereal with his soft brown eyes and flushed cheeks. His touch was so delicate on his skin that it made Jaemin's heart flutter in his chest. "Yeah, I know."

Renjun grabbed a band aid from the kit, drying off the surrounding area before putting it on. Jaemin noticed his eyes were still puffy from crying and his heart broke a little. "I'm sorry, Renjun."

The older paused for a moment, his eyes locking with Jaemin's. "For the fight? Or for what Donghyuck said?"

"How much did you hear?" 

"Enough I guess." Renjun focused his attention back onto placing the band aid on Jaemin's forehead.

"I'm sorry for both."

Renjun sighed, "You scared me, Jaemin. You wouldn't stop, it was terrifying." 

Jaemin fell silent letting Renjun do his work. He felt guilty that Renjun had heard any of the things said about him by Donghyuck, and that he had actually scared him. He wasn't even quite sure what to say to Renjun. It was after the older had finished cleaning off his face and even gave him a instant ice pack to use for his cheek, that Renjun spoke up again.

"Does it really bother you that much?" Renjun asked looking up at Jaemin, his tone almost apprehensive, "What happened between me and Mark?"

Jaemin paused and they both looked each other. It was as if time had stopped for a moment. Jaemin was trying to read the look in Renjun's eyes. It was only a question, yet he knew it held meaning to the other. "Yeah." 

Renjun's gaze lingered over Jaemin's face a little longer, his eyes falling to Jaemin's lips quickly before he nodded and turned his attention to Jaemin's hand. He carefully took Jaemin's hand in his own and wiped it clean, putting a wrap over the knuckles. He closed the first aid kit before standing up and opening the door for Jaemin, "You can leave now. But change your shirt, there's blood all over it."

"Do you want help cleaning up?" Jaemin offered, looking at the mess in the bathroom.

Renjun shook his head, "I got it. You're wounded anyway, remember?"

The younger flashed a grin. "Thanks Injunnie." He said, his back already to Renjun as he headed out of the hallway.

Renjun exhaled. He leaned his head against the door as he watched Jaemin disappear into the living room, a small smile on his lips.

-

Chenle sat next to Jisung on the couch in the living room. The TV was turned off, the two staring back at themselves in the reflection. It had been a quiet afternoon since the fight earlier, leaving even Chenle speechless.

Chenle saw in the black reflection of the TV screen Jisung looking to his left. Following Jisung's gaze, Chenle saw Donghyuck sitting in the kitchen. He was alone, and looked to be flipping through a book, but that's not what caught his attention.

The large cut on his swollen lower lip was visible from the living room, along with a big bruise on his jaw. There was another dark pink and red bruise peaking out from under a bandage, which was covering another cut along his cheek.

Jisung looked back at Chenle, his eyes laced with anguish. Looking at Donghyuck, it was hard to believe that Jaemin, one of their best friends, one of _Donghyuck's_ best friends, could've done something like that. It was also hard to believe everything Donghyuck had said to Jaemin beforehand. Compared to Renjun and Donghyuck's close friendship before he presented, the way Donghyuck talked about Renjun now was like he was a completely different person, a stranger. The thought that that happened to them because Renjun presented terrified Chenle, and he couldn't help but think about him and Jisung's friendship.

For the two youngest members it was like watching a domino effect. One thing after another, their tightly knit friendship built over the years seemed to come more and more undone as they began to spring into adulthood.

"Jisung, promise me that when one of us presents, nothing like that will happen. Nothing will change between us." His voice was barely above a whisper.

Jisung nodded and took the older's hand. Chenle rested his head on Jisung's shoulder.

"I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be starting school very soon so my updates might become much slower.
> 
> Please leave any feedback for me in the comments!


	5. Chapter 5

It was indescribable, really.

But if Jeno had to explain the feeling, he'd say something along the lines of feeling suffocated.

It was late at night, a thunderstorm raging on outside, when he was pulled out of his deep, post-rut sleep by a strong scent filling his room. With one inhale, the scent—one of sweet cherries—already had him in a trance, even though the peak of his rut had already passed. The scent was intoxicating and gravitating, settling deep into Jeno and fogging over his mind.

Before he could process his own actions he was already out of bed and halfway to the door. With a shaky yet sure hand, he reached and opened the door, and Jeno thought he could pass out right there. The scent was strong in the bedroom, but out in the hallway, it was a thousand times worse. It hovered in the air, thick and heavy, completely enveloping him in the raw scent of heat.

He knew it was from an Omega—the scent of an Omega in heat was unmistakable—but it hadn't fully processed that that had meant someone in the dorms, one of his 127 hyungs, was that Omega, and that by following this scent he'd find one of them in heat.

But as he wandered down the hall, completely brainwashed by the alluring scent, the realization came fast when he peered into an open dorm room at the very end of the hall, finding Yuta, naked, shaking, and covered in sweat, curled into Taeyong's chest as he sat on the bed. The scent was stronger than ever, and Jeno couldn't help the arousal that overtook him.

Jeno's eyes unconsciously traced Yuta's figure, and a weary feeling overcame him. Somehow in his mess of primordial instincts, he still felt it was wrong. Yuta was still his hyung, and thinking of Yuta like that sent shame burning in cheeks. But he also wasn't in full control over his body at the moment, and felt a little helpless.

There was one other person around, however, and Jeno lifted his gaze slightly to meet Taeyong's. Taeyong's eyes were glowing a dark and violent red, and Jeno could smell his pheromones grow stronger from the doorway.

Yuta whined, the cherry scent souring, and Taeyong pulled him closer to his chest, trying to cover more of the Omega from Jeno's view. Jeno knew he should leave, knew he should have looked away and locked himself in his room the rest of the night, but he wasn't in a logical state of mind.

A low, protective growl emitted from Taeyong, willing Jeno to take a step back. His eyes, though, were still glued onto Yuta. There was something so fascinating to Jeno, about the nature of it all, Yuta with his head buried into Taeyong's neck, tight fists clutching his shirt, and Taeyong, with his arms wrapped protectively around him. And while the feeling that was beginning to posses Jeno was one of longing and want, it wasn't because of Yuta or Taeyong specifically.

He didn't have much time to sit on it, however, as suddenly Doyoung appeared in front of him, slamming the door shut, Yuta and Taeyong disappearing and the cherry scent weakening. Jeno felt a hand on his shoulder and he spun around to see Jaehyun, a concerned look on his face. "We can't keep him here, can we?"

Doyoung shook his head, "We risk his rut coming back if he stays any longer."

"The WayV dorms?" "I'll call Kun. Get him in the car." Doyoung said, running back into his dorm room. Jaehyun grabbed Jeno's arm and began pulling him into the living room. Jeno didn't want to leave, but the lingering scent was still making his head spin, rendering him unable to fight back against Jaehyun's grip as he dragged him out the door and down the long hallway.

As they moved, the remains of the cherry scent grew weaker and weaker. Yet the high the scent seemed to give him still buzzed in his veins, making Jeno feel disconnected from his body. Jeno thought he could still smell traces of it in the parking lot, but he was almost sure it was his mind playing tricks on him.

He was snapped back to reality as he was thrown into a car by Jaehyun. "Hendery's in heat too, we have to take him to the Dream dorms." Doyoung said, getting into the drivers seat. There was an unsure tone to his voice, his concern about the last resort plan prominent in his voice.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. It's been weeks since Renjun's last heat and Hyuck isn't gonna present for at least as couple months."

"Would Renjun still be affect by his scent though? And what about Jeno? Even if Renjun's not in heat, an Omega scent might trigger him." Jeno laid down in the back seat, the conversation being held in front of him transcribing into a blur of words in his wasted mind.

"You're overthinking this, Do."

"I don't know, something crazy is always going on with those kids. You know about Jaemin and Hyuck's fight, right?"

"'Course."

"Have you seen either one of them?"

"Well, no."

"It's awful, they look like they ran each other over with lawn mowers. Donghyuck especially. And it was all because Mark and Renjun had sex while Mark was on his rut. Those kids have some serious unresolved emotional tension. Jeno presented in the middle of a grocery store for fucks sake."

"Point taken."

"Donghyuck and Jaemin got into a fight?" Doyoung's eyes widened and Jaehyun's head snapped back towards Jeno, "Uh, yeah. I didn't think you were listening."

"I wasn't, but.." Jeno sat up, concentrating and slowly articulating each word, "When did it happen?"

"A few days ago." Doyoung said, trying to read Jeno's expression in the car mirror. "They're fine, if that's what you're worried about."

Jeno exhaled slowly, but nodded.

"Donghyuck's fine." Jaehyun added, and Jeno grew quiet. He returned to his position lying across the car seats in the back, and focused in on breathing in Doyoung and Jaehyun's pheromones, trying to rid his system of the cherry scent.

-

Renjun watched from the couch as Jaehyun and Doyoung dragged in an extremely tired looking Jeno.

When he had gotten the late night call from Doyoung, he wasn't sure what to expect, Doyoung seemed almost a little panicked and hadn't really explained anything except that Jeno needed a place to stay. Although, most if not all of his questions were answered as he breathed in an overwhelmingly strong scent of pine, and _oh my god, _Renjun almost forgot that Jeno was an Alpha now.

Doyoung approached him and Renjun found himself leaning back. His lavender scent seemed buried under the strong pine and musk of an Alpha. Doyoung must have noticed the way Renjun turned his nose the other way, and made the exchange quick.

But Jeno needed a room, and all of them were occupied. He had half the mind to drag Chenle out of their shared room, but Renjun was an Omega, and although he wasn't in heat, he didn't know if it was the best idea for Jeno to stay in his room. Renjun looked up at Doyoung helplessly, but suddenly Donghyuck appeared in the doorway of the living room.

He had clearly just woken up, his hair being ruffled and his shirt tousled. His eyes were a little wide though, and he seemed to be very aware of the situation at hand. "He can use ours."

Doyoung turned to him, a quick wave of relief washing over him. He nodded to Jaehyun and gave Donghyuck a pat on the shoulder as he passed, "Thanks, Hyuck."

When they had disappeared into the hallway, Donghyuck's eyes following Jeno's figure closely, Renjun hopped up off the couch. "What woke you up?"

The older asked, making his way towards the other side of the room. Donghyuck shrugged, sitting down. "The noise."

Renjun nodded, reaching for the latch on one of the windows in the room.

"What are you doing?" Donghyuck asked.

"It's stuffy in here. You know, like with Jeno." Renjun said, scrunching his nose a little for affect. He made his way back to the couch and plopped down on the opposite end. He just wanted to go back to bed, really, but Jeno and Donghyuck's room was right next to his, and he didn't want a nose full of Alpha musk all night.

So Renjun spread out a blanket he had taken from his bed and curled up on the couch. He took a handful of the end of his blanket and reached out towards Donghyuck, offering him the other end. Donghyuck shook his head, "Thanks, but I'm okay. I'm a little hot actually."

"'Mkay. If you change your mind just ask." Renjun closed his eyes, sleepiness already taking over him.

"Actually, you mind if I open another window?" Donghyuck asked.

"Go for it." Renjun mumbled. Donghyuck rolled his sleeves up as he approached the window, wishing he had wore a t-shirt.

He pushed the window open and lingered by the windowsill for a moment to let the night breeze cool down his skin before eventually heading back to the couch. Donghyuck readjusted himself in his seat on the couch. He closed his eyes as well, but he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He readjusted himself again, and again.

Huffing, he looked over at the sleeping boy next to him. "Renjun?"

The latter hummed in response, his eyes slowly opening.

"Are you wearing cologne?"

"No, why? You smell something?"

"Yeah, it's like, I don't know. Trees? You don't smell it?" Donghyuck questioned.

This caught Renjun's attention. "Trees? Like pine?"

"Yeah, yeah. Pine."

Renjun only stared at him, unsure what to say.

"What? You really don't smell anything?" Donghyuck said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I smell Jeno, Donghyuck."

"What do you mean?" Donghyuck asked, peering at Renjun.

"The pine—it's Jeno. It's his pheromones." Renjun sat up straight, "And you can smell it."

Everything seemed to click in Donghyuck's mind as he froze, mouth hanging slightly open.

"Donghyuck, how hot _are_ you?"

"You're not saying—you don't think—"

Renjun bit his lip, looking at the other with concern.

"Renjun, no." Donghyuck said, his eyes already welling with tears, "No, no this can't be happening."

"It's okay, Hyuck." Renjun scooted closer to him. "No, I—my birthday's not for months!" Donghyuck cried, moving himself as far away from Renjun as the couch would allow.

"You need to relax, Hyuck. Freaking out will just make your heat worse." Renjun tried to reason.

"_Don't_ say that. God, don't—don't call it that." Donghyuck ran a hand through his hair, a layer of sweat already forming on his skin.

Renjun was a little taken aback. Was Donghyuck that repulsed by the thought of being an Omega?

Donghyuck groaned and clutched his stomach, "Fuck, why is this happening? Why now?"

Renjun opened his mouth to respond but suddenly footsteps could be heard coming from the hallway. Donghyuck looked at Renjun, panicked. "They can't know."

"What? Hyuck, they'll help you."

Donghyuck grabbed Renjun's arm, and the older looked at him, startled, "Renjun, I don't want them to. They can't know."

"Okay, uhm," Renjun thought for a second before grabbing the blanket and throwing it on Donghyuck, "Wrap yourself in this, and go stand by the window. Quickly!"

Donghyuck hopped over the side of the couch, rushing to the window and pulling the blanket over his shoulders. Renjun stayed on the couch, focusing on releasing more of his own pheromones.

When Doyoung appeared in the living room, Jaehyun following closely behind, he barely spared them a glance. "Jeno's asleep, we'll check up in the morning. Thanks guys."

He slipped on his jacket and was already out the door. Jaehyun gave them a wave but froze in the doorway. He glanced back at Donghyuck for a moment, and the younger's heart skipped several beats.

Renjun shot up, rushing over to the door way and pushing Jaehyun out, "Well, goodnight!"

"Yeah. Night." Jaehyun said, still eyeing the two suspiciously, but nonetheless disappeared from the doorway.

Renjun hurriedly shut the door, spinning around to see Donghyuck leaning against the windowsill, blanket dropped to the floor.

"It's getting worse." He said quietly, resting his head in his hand. 

"We should get you outside." Renjun moved to his side, leading Donghyuck outside to the patio. "Is this better?"

Donghyuck nodded, gripping the railing. The wind was sharp and cold against his flushed skin, but it offered Donghyuck some relief.

Renjun stood behind him in silence. He wasn't sure how to help Donghyuck, or what to say to make him feel better. Sure, he had managed to survive his first heat and presenting, but he had had Doyoung and Kun and Sicheng. But Donghyuck, was refusing help from _anyone_, and Renjun was lost.

"What does it feel like?" Donghyuck kept his gaze on the city below.

Renjun hesitated. "It..it's painful. And it's long and uncomfortable, but once the heat's over, Hyuck it's indescribable."

Donghyuck bit his lip, blinking back tears.

"Is there...is there anything I can do?" Renjun asked, and Donghyuck looked back at him, the discomfort prominent on his face.

"I think I just need to be alone right now." He spoke slowly and quietly, pain lacing his voice. Renjun hesitated. He wanted to argue, that spending your first heat alone was a terrible idea, but Donghyuck looked so heartbroken that Renjun went against his better judgement and obliged. "If you need anything..."

Donghyuck nodded. With that Renjun left, slowly closing the patio doors. He looked on at Donghyuck's slumped figure and sighed. This was going to be a long night for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to put out! School's been occupying a lot more of my time that I originally thought it would. This chapter was going to be longer but I wanted to get it out this weekend, so hopefully the next one will be up much sooner. I'll try to update every 1 to 2 weeks. 
> 
> As always I hope you enjoyed, and feel free to leave any feedback in the comments as I'm always trying to improve my writing!


	6. Chapter 6

Cinnamon.

It filled the air, his room, his mouth, his lungs.

Suddenly Jeno was wandering through the dark, falling in and out of sensibility. It almost gave him déjà vu, but the cinnamon was so much more distinct than the cherries. It was warm and comforting and smelled like home, not lust when it engulfed him.

There was an undertone to the scent—something burnt, and somehow Jeno was aware of everything, the sorrow, the pain, the longing. It was dispersed into the scent and Jeno could feel his body respond to it on instinct, releasing more pheromones, his senses and alertness heightening.

As he walked down the hallway the scent grew stronger, but this time around it felt less like he was searching for something, and more like he was simply following it. The cinnamon smelled like he had already found what he was looking for.

There was someone calling his name, Renjun, Jeno thinks. He didn't respond, because there was nothing, nothing in his mind, nothing at all but the cinnamon.

The patio door handle was cold against his skin, the cold wind nipping at his skin even sharper once he had swung the door open. Donghyuck turned back to look at him, and Jeno had never been more sure of anything in his life. _Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Donghyuck_.

Jeno took a step forward and suddenly he was on the edge of insanity, somewhere between torment and bliss. It was in the way he had never felt higher, as it was in the way his heart ached at the sight of Donghyuck.

Donghyuck's hair was tousled, his cheeks red and skin shimmering with sweat. His lips were red and swollen from where he had been biting down on them. Although the cinnamon was emanating off of Donghyuck, seeing his pained expression cleared Jeno's mind.

The boy watched Jeno closely as he approached the railing, taking a place next to him. Now that he was up close Jeno could see the fading bruises scattered over Donghyuck's face from his fight with Jaemin, anger already bubbling up in his chest.

"He hurt you." Jeno swallowed to push back the growl building in his chest.

Donghyuck'a eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, "It's alright, I deserved it anyway." Donghyuck closed his eyes, "You know how I can get."

Jeno pursed his lips, and Donghyuck could see the bitter look in his eyes.

"Jeno," Donghyuck muttered, "I'm alright."

There were so many things Jeno wanted to say, so many thoughts racing through his head that they jumbled in his mind and he was left speechless. But it was when Donghyuck cried out, his face contorting in pain, hands gripping the railing so tightly his knuckles were turning white, that Jeno mumbled, "How long has it been like this?"

The younger, swallowed, his head hanging in between his arms, "Since you came."

"And you've been alone?"

"I wouldn't—I didn't want help." Donghyuck grimaced, but slowly lifted his head.

"Are you okay?" Jeno asked, studying Donghyuck's expression.

"Physically?"

"Are you okay with _this_?"

"I guess it doesn't really matter if I'm okay with it." Donhyuck's voice was strained. "It's always been inevitable."

"You know this won't change anything." Jeno said hesitantly.

"That's easy for you to say." Donghyuck sighed. "I just..I just can't help but feel like i'm going to lose a part of myself."

"You're not, Hyuck. You don't have to." Jeno felt himself moving closer to Donghyuck, "Nothing is going to change. Not you, not any of us."

The younger didn't respond, only averting his eyes from Jeno's gaze.

"Do you want me to leave?" Jeno asked, growing worried that he was bothering the other.

Donghyuck shook his head quickly, "No, no stay. It's—it's better when you're around."

Jeno's heart welled a little in his chest, but it was hard to feel happy when Donghyuck was in so much pain. He was looking out at the city again, distracted. Suddenly his head fell again, his eyes squeezing shut and teeth clenching with a groan, and Jeno couldn't just stand there any longer.

"Will you let me help you?"

Donghyuck looked at Jeno, an uneasy expression on his face.

"I know that look. I know what you're thinking." Jeno said quickly, "It doesn't mean you're weak. It wouldn't matter anyway, it's okay to be weak sometimes."

A silence fell over them for a moment, Donghyuck visibly lost in thought.

"Talk to me, Hyuck."

"It hurts." Donghyuck whispered, his eyes welling with tears.

When Donghyuck's grip finally faltered and he fell to his knees, Jeno was there to catch him. Donghyuck collapsed onto Jeno, arms wrapped messily around the back of Jeno's neck, his head falling onto Jeno's shoulder. He was sweaty, and his skin was searing. Jeno didn't care though, snaking his arms around Donghyuck's waist, and holding him close against him.

Jeno sat down carefully, so Donghyuck's entire weight rested on him, their legs tangled together. Donghyuck almost immediately began to sob into Jeno's shoulder, fists clutching the material of Jeno's shirt, "It hurts so bad."

"I know, I know." Jeno threaded a hand through Donghyuck's hair to try and soothe him, whispering sweet nothings. Even through the boy's tears, you could hear the occasional cry of pain, his skin heating up against Jeno's, and his heart shattered every time.

Jeno tried releasing more of his pheromones, feeling relieved when Donghyuck buried his nose deeper into the crook of Jeno's neck. Him being an Alpha, his scent should have chased away most, if not all of the pain, but Jeno could still smell it clear as day, the charred cinnamon. Donghyuck was in too much distress, and it was worsening his heat.

Jeno thought that maybe he could just wait it out with Donghyuck, do his best to comfort Donghyuck through the pain. But as time went on it became more and more unbearable to watch. In the worst, Donghyuck would cry out, skin flaming and body writhing in Jeno's arms. It got to be too much again for the older.

"Hyuck," Jeno said quietly, "Hyuck, look at me."

When the boy didn't move, Jeno put his hand under Donghyuck's chin, gently lifting his head off of Jeno's tear stained shoulder. Everything was red, his puffy eyes, his flushed cheeks, his bitten lips. Donghyuck's face shone with tears that glistened from the city lights below and Jeno thought he'd never looked so ethereal.

Donghyuck stared up at Jeno with wide eyes and Jeno lost his train of thought while looking at Donghyuck, his heart racing in his chest. Then Jeno could sense it, the way Donghyuck's grip on him tightened, tears returning to his eyes with a small gasp—another wave of heat was coming.

"Donghyuck," Jeno called as Donghyuck's eyes started to glaze over, "Focus on me."

The younger blinked up at Jeno. "The heats only getting worse because of the stress you're under. I need you to relax, you're thinking too much. It's the only way the pain will go away." Jeno said, cupping both sides of Donghyuck's face to try and maintain the other's attention.

Donghyuck nodded slowly, but it was followed by wincing and a long whine being drawn out from him. His cheeks burned red, heating Jeno's hands.

"Shh, you're okay." Jeno said in an attempt to soothe him, but he was beginning to feel hopeless. He thought for a moment, watching Donghyuck's eyes slowly gloss over as the strain overtook him. Jeno moved one hand from Donghyuck's face to lightly grip the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and leaned in, heart pounding in his chest, and pressed his lips against Donghyuck's.

He was insane, sure. But he was also out of ideas.

Jeno could feel Donghyuck stiffen in response, before relaxing against him and eventually kissing back. It was a slow, soft kiss, neither of them in a rush to deepen it. The switch was almost immediate, the second Jeno kissed Donghyuck the burnt smell under the cinnamon was already dulling.

What Jeno prayed wouldn't go terribly wrong, had gone exceedingly well, and Jeno felt like he was dreaming as Donghyuck pulled himself closer to him.

When Jeno finally pulled completely away, they both stared at each other for a moment before Donghyuck quickly shoved his face into the other's chest, his head tucking under Jeno's chin. His body seemed to have finally let the Alpha pheromones set in, cinnamon and pine clashing in the cold night air.

With the heat quickly subsiding, Jeno could feel Donghyuck pull himself closer to Jeno to protect himself from the sharp wind.

Jeno let himself zone out, enjoying the warmth of Donghyuck against him. He snapped back to reality however, when Donghyuck suddenly gasped and rolled off of him.

Jeno sat up, "What is it?"

"We should go inside." Donghyuck said in a rushed tone.

Jeno only furrowed his eyebrows and Donghyuck groaned. He looked down, embarrassed, "I uhm..."

Jeno followed his gaze to where Donghyuck had his legs pressed tightly together.

"O-oh." Jeno stuttered, his face flushing.

"I should change...at least.." Donghyuck mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Jeno.

Jeno sat up, looking anywhere but Donghyuck. There was a moment neither of them spoke out of embarrassment. When the wind caught right, Jeno could smell it, the slick, and shudders ran down his spine. Obviously there was a rapidly growing urge to touch Donghyuck, to taste and feel and comfort and protect him, but he fought his instincts to protect the sliver of normality this situation had.

Suddenly Donghyuck let out a laugh. Jeno snapped his head towards Donghyuck.

"Jeno." Donghyuck settled, "I need your help."

Jeno stared blankly at him, still panicked.

"Fuck the embarrassment, right? I'm in heat. I need you to help me." Donghyuck said, a small smile still gracing his lips.

Jeno couldn't control the smile that spread across his face, "Right."

Slowly and carefully, Jeno kneeled next to Donghyuck, hooking his arms underneath his knees and back. Donghyuck's breath hitched at the ease in which Jeno lifted him up. Jeno used his foot to pull the patio door open, and slipped inside the dorm.

"Doyoung's coming in the morning to check on you. I don't want him to smell me." Donghyuck said once Jeno had set him down on his bed.

"You don't want him to know you're in heat?"

I don't want him to take you away." Donghyuck admitted, pout present on his face.

Jeno's heart welled, but he'd never tell, "I won't let him. I promise, Hyuck."

Jeno pulled a fresh pair of shorts from Donghyuck's dresser and handed it to the other, turning around briefly to give the other privacy.

"It's—it's not _just_ Doyoung. I'm scared they'll all look at me differently. Smaller, like i'm smaller, or, or less capable." Donghyuck groaned, "And I swear to god I cannot handle Doyoung hovering over and babying me."

"Can you trust me? No one will think of you like that. Look at Yuta, he's an Omega and still terrifying." Jeno said, turning back around.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes but smiled as Jeno crawled into bed next to him.

"Are you feeling a little better?" Jeno asked as Donghyuck curled into his side.

"Yeah, yeah I think so." Donghyuck's eyes were already drooping, but he reached over and put a pillow in between their lower halves. "Look, in case I do anything, uh, off-color in my sleep, I want to apologize ahead of time.

Jeno breathed a laugh, "I understand."

He ran his fingers through the other's hair, breathing in the cinnamon scent.

"Thank you, Jeno." Donghyuck whispered, before his eyes fluttered shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any feedback you have for me or this chapter in the comments!
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chenle comforts Jisung, Jeno confronts Jaemin about his fight with Donghyuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have an explanation for why this chapter took me so long to publish, so I would like to apologize. I hope to begin updating regularly again and I fully intend on finishing this work. 
> 
> This is my first fic on ao3 so please feel free to leave any feedback you have for me in the comments. As always thank you so much for reading!

"Chenle?"

The door creaked open, followed by light footsteps. 

"Chenle?" Jisung whispered again, this time at the foot of the older's bed. 

"You can turn on the light. I can't sleep either." 

Jisung blindly reached over to turn on the light switch, squinting when the bright lights burned his eyes. Chenle was sitting on his bed and rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes. 

"I'm assuming Renjun told you?" Jisung asked, sitting down next to Chenle on the bed, where the older had made room for him. 

Chenle only nodded and a silence fell between them. 

There was an obvious weight in the room that neither of them wanted to acknowledge. They couldn't just go to sleep either, it would be impossible with how anxious they both were. 

"This is so weird." Chenle finally spoke, his gaze in his lap. 

Jisung bit his lip, "Yeah."

Another pause.

"You think it's cause of Jeno? That he presented?" Jisung asked.

"I mean, he presented two months early. What other explanation is there?" Chenle pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his shins.

"It's just happening so fast. One after another." Jisung swallowed, "I almost wish we had more time."

Chenle looked up at Jisung and put his hand on the younger's shoulder, "Hey, it's not like once we present we'll never see each other again or something."

"But it will be different then," Jisung felt a lump form in his throat as he tried to fight back tears, "Everything's going to change."

Jisung hated himself for crying, hated himself for getting so worked up over something that was always coming. But after Renjun presented the atmosphere in the dorms had flipped upside down, and suddenly Jisung was watching his best friends' friendships crumble to pieces in front of him. It was so overwhelming and so terrifyingly fast. 

"Some things change for the better." Chenle started, moving closer to Jisung. Chenle wished he could tell Jisung that he's wrong, that nothing's going to change. But they both know he'd be lying. "Maybe things will be different, but that doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing."

Jisung buried his face in his hands, trying to hide the steady flow of tears rushing down his cheeks. He didn't trust his voice to speak without breaking right now, so he just kept his mouth shut. Chenle was silent for a moment as Jisung took his time to try and calm down, his breathing steadying. 

"Jisung?" Chenle asked after a minute. Jisung looked up from his hands, his eyes red and cheeks wet. Chenle shuffled so he was sitting directly next to the younger, their shoulders touching.

"I can't say that things aren't gonna be different once we present, but it's going to be okay. You'll be alright. We'll be alright." Chenle strung an arm around Jisung's shoulder and pulled the younger to lean into him. Jisung sniffled and moved his head to rest on Chenle's shoulder. 

"I'm sorry for being like this," Jisung hiccuped, "I didn't think I'd cry."

Chenle chuckled and shook his head, "Don't apologize. It's been really stressful for all of us."

Chenle rubbed Jisung's back, his free hand playing with the hem of his pajama shirt. 

"I really didn't think he'd be an Omega." Jisung said, "Him presenting as an Omega somehow makes this whole thing worse."

Donghyuck, the spitfire. So cunning and would always find himself in trouble one way or another. He always got away with it, because there was never any malice laced into his pestering and playful remarks. Everyone in Dream were close, but Donghyuck had an undeniably large influence over the group. He was their spirit, their sun. 

"You think he meant what he said?" Chenle asked, "About Omegas? About Renjun?"

"I really want to believe that he didn't." Jisung's voice was quiet, like he was scared the his words, "But I think he's also been in a weird head space since Mark presented."

Chenle nodded solemnly. 

"Chenle?"

The older hummed.

"What do you think you'll be?"

Chenle sighed, "That's a difficult question."

"Just tell me what you think, anything." Jisung looked up at the elder, his head still resting on his shoulder. 

"Well," Chenle started, "I think i'd like to be a Beta. 'Cause it's easier."

Jisung breathed a laugh.

"I mean, no ruts, no heats. That's so much less stress." Chenle chuckled, "No having to worry about pheromones and hormones—"

Jisung stopped him by hitting his leg lightly, grinning widely.

"Why? What about you?" Chenle nudged him with his shoulder. 

Jisung's face visibly darkened and he readjusted himself before clearing his throat, "I want to be an Alpha."

Jisung grimaced. The words felt heavy on his tongue. They didn't feel like they belonged to him. 

"Do you think you'll present as one?" Chenle asked, eyebrows raised.

Jisung swallowed, "I—I don't know."

"Don't worry about it, Sung." Chenle patted Jisung's leg, "Anyway it's getting late, we should try to go to bed now."

He tapped Jisung's back, a gesture to get him to stand up and Jisung pouted, "Are you gonna make me sleep in Renjun's bed?"

Chenle laughed and shook his head, "No you big baby, go turn off the lights. You can still sleep with me."

"Oh," Jisung smiled, getting up and padding over to the light switch, "okay."

-

"You listen to me, Lee Jeno," Doyoung spoke through gritted teeth, his tone harsh, "if I find out you two did anything, and I mean _anything_, more than cuddle I swear to god I'll rip you to _pieces—_"

"I think he gets it babe." Jaehyun cut him off, tugging at Doyoung's shoulder.

"Understand?" Doyoung chided, ignoring Jaehyun and never tearing his gaze from Jeno's. 

Jeno nodded frantically, looking up at Doyoung with wide eyes from his seat on the couch. Doyoung stood in front of him, Jeno caged in between his arms as he towered over the younger.

"Doyoung, you're scaring him." Taeyong spoke up from across the room despite the amused grin plastered across his face. 

"Your hands stay _above_ his waist, got it?" 

"Okay, that's enough, Do." Jaehyun said, gripping both of Doyoung's shoulders and finally pulling him away from the younger. 

"Don't even think about disobeying me, or your ass is _done_." Doyoung continued, fists clenched at his sides as Jaehyun dragged him backwards towards the door.

Jeno swallowed and nodded again. He was frozen in his seat as he watched Taeyong follow Jaehyun and Doyoung to the door. It really didn't feel like Jeno was the Alpha and Doyoung was the Beta sometimes. 

Jaehyun swung open the door, a nervous smile on his face, "Alright, heh, see you later Jeno."

"And both of you better keep your clothes _on!_" Doyoung shouted one last time before Jaehyun shoved him out the door and into the hall.

Taeyong only spared the younger a small smile and a nod before he slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

Jeno let out a big sigh of relief as the older member's scent disappeared and the living room was left quiet. Jeno leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes, wiping the sweat that had begun to form on his forehead. 

"What happened to you being the favorite?" Jaemin sneered, suddenly appearing behind the couch.

Jeno snapped his head back to see the younger smiling, clearly entertained at what just took place. Jeno groaned which only widened Jaemin's smile. 

"I knew Doyoung wasn't going to be happy about letting me stay with Donghyuck for his heat, but holy shit." Jeno leaned his head back against the couch again, "I think he likes Renjun more now anyway."

Jaemin snickered, walking past him and into the kitchen. 

"Just wait until you present, and you have to deal with Doyoung." Jeno called after him.

"You'll be waiting for a while." Jaemin sighed. 

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, "Like what? Four months."

"Nevermind." Jaemin said, shaking his head.

Jeno eyed him warily as he reached to grab a glass. 

"You want water or something?" Jaemin asked, trying to change the topic.

Jeno studied Jaemin for a second longer before nodding, "Sure."

Jaemin could feel Jeno's eyes on him as he poured water from the filter and into the glass. When he looked up, however, the older's eyes had fallen to the bandage on his knuckles, his jaw clenching. 

Jeno's eyes met his again, all the warmth and kindness usually gleaming in them suddenly gone, only leaving behind icy cold ones. Jaemin ignored the way his heart raced in his chest. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Jeno since he presented, but it was the first time they'd actually spoken. Jaemin expected Jeno to find out about the fight. He'd expected him to be mad. 

"Just say it." Jaemin said, growing anxious watching the older. 

Jeno had his arms crossed, and only continued to stare at Jaemin. His gaze wasn't what Jaemin expected it to be—it wasn't murderous or filled with rage. But the resent was there, like the calm before the storm. Jaemin couldn't stop his hands from shaking. 

"I know you're mad at me." Jaemin spit out, the tension growing unbearable. 

Jeno just scoffed, "Understatement."

Jaemin swallowed as the older stood up from the couch, walking towards him. Jaemin was now dismally aware of Jeno's added height from presenting as an Alpha. Jeno stopped a foot away from Jaemin, but Jaemin already felt cornered. 

"What do you want from me?" Jaemin uttered out, speaking so quickly his words were almost slurring together. It came out more defensive than he intended, but with Jeno looming over him he couldn't push the panic welling in his chest down. 

"If Renjun wasn't there to stop you, would you have?"

Jaemin completely froze, staring up at Jeno. It took him a couple seconds to realize what Jeno was saying, and when it sunk in Jaemin wished Jeno would have just hit him. 

"How—how did..." Jaemin's voice was barely audible. _How did he know?_ Jaemin's mouth went dry. 

"Jaemin, answer me."

His voice was rough and demanding. _Like an Alpha_, Jaemin thought.

"Would you have stopped?" Jeno asked, tone edging into something disconsolate. 

Jaemin swallowed, "I..I don't know."

Jeno sighed. His gaze fell from Jaemin and god, Jaemin just wanted Jeno to be mad at him. The disappointment on his face was so, so much worse. 

Jeno grabbed the glass of water that sat untouched on the table and turned away from Jaemin. 

Jaemin opened his mouth to say something, an apology, an explanation, _anything_, but the words got stuck in his throat. 

"J-Jeno!" Jaemin blurted once Jeno had begun to walk away.

The older turned and Jaemin had to force himself to hold eye contact. 

"Hit me!" Jaemin said, almost exasperated when Jeno only raised an eyebrow, "You're—you're mad at me, so then why don't you just hit me?"

Jeno's expression only saddened and he shook his head, "I'm not like you."

Jaemin was dumbstruck, the weight of the words kicking the air out of his lungs. 

"But Jaemin," Jeno paused, "I know that you, the you I know, isn't like that either."

Jaemin couldn't move.

"You asked me what I want from you? I want you. I want the real you back." Jeno didn't wait for Jaemin's response before turning around and disappearing into the hallway.

Jaemin let go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He felt like all the energy had left his body, his mind numbingly slow. 

He was in the eye of the storm. How long Jaemin had before the false calm disappeared and the clouds returned to swallowed him whole, he had no idea. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on here so please feel free to leave feedback!
> 
> just a note, i will be rewriting some chapters. this will not impact the plot whatsoever so you will not have to reread anything if you don't want to, there were just some areas of this fic that i was unhappy with and wanted to improve.


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